New Year
Hi everyone. Hope you had a great holiday season and Happy New Year!!
I honestly can’t believe a year has passed already. Honestly, the past couple of months were the hardest to endure. I’ve had some things happen with my personal life and my family life which I am still dealing with. I honestly was also so busy too with the activities I do, and also the pandemic also kept on interfering with some things too.
The pandemic has affected everyone some way or some form. There still are many struggling, fighting for their health and more.
In December, I remember my head being clouded with so many thoughts and worries that prevented me from going to sleep. One important thing I realized was that over my life, (because I’ve faced many family problems etc), I kept on putting a burden of stress on my shoulders because I kept on putting the things beyond my control on myself. I am a perfectionist, as I mentioned, and when things don’t work out the way I want to I tend to worry a lot, although I adjust and adapt to the situation externally and take action. Letting go and realizing that you’ve tried your best will help you. When you have done all you can do, you just have to wait and see. Life is unpredictable.
Everyone is going through their individual story. I was so fragile and fatigued with everything that decided to happen at once in November/ December. The question, “Are you okay?” , or “How are you doing?” would hit me so hard.
You cannot expect others to act the way you want them to, or for them to understand 10000% of what you’re going through because they’re not you.
However, what is important is that you deserve to be surrounded by those that make you feel loved and make you feel happy. You shouldn’t have to change yourself for others. They should appreciate the type of human you are.
This New Year, I hope to work on
Taking care of myself more
Making more time to communicate with my loved ones
Forgiving myself
Overcoming past ED rules (e.g. having to always eat certain side dishes at dinner, having obliged to eat at certain times etc)
However in terms of eating, I have been doing really well! I eat whatever I crave. When I am hungry, I eat and when I am full, I stop. And I also have been reducing my chocolate consumption to a moderate degree (my craving for chocolate diminished) and eating more throughout the day. I also don’t feel bad if I have a chocolate chip cookie, brownie or anything I want that was previously so fearful to me.
I wish you all the best and good things this 2021.
-C.
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